Life’s Punches: How to Break Free from Limiting Patterns and Reclaim Your True Essence

“Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.” - Mike Tyson

Life has a way of throwing unexpected punches, shaking us to our core, and testing the very plans we hold dear. Whether it’s a financial crisis, a failed relationship, or a setback in health, these moments can leave us questioning everything. But what if these punches are not here to break us but to wake us up? What if they’re opportunities to uncover our true essence and break free from the limiting patterns that keep us stuck?

The Dreams We Begin With

As children, we dream big. We imagine lives filled with joy, success, and love. We say to ourselves, "I’ll never be like my parents," or "I’ll build a life of freedom and fulfillment." But as we grow older, life happens. Setbacks occur. We face challenges that bring us closer to the patterns and limitations we swore we’d escape.

We all inherit a "thermostat setting" from childhood—an unconscious limit on how much success, love, joy, or abundance we allow ourselves to experience. When life surpasses this limit, we sabotage ourselves to return to what feels familiar.

The key is recognizing this upper limit and breaking through it consciously.

Breaking the Cycle of Reactivity

When life punches us in the face, our immediate response is often reactive. We default to patterns learned in childhood—whether it’s anger, avoidance, self-pity, or overworking. These knee-jerk reactions are not who we truly are; they’re conditioned responses that keep us repeating the same cycles.

To break free, we must learn to pause, reflect, and respond consciously. This means cultivating presence, understanding our triggers, and stepping out of victim mentality.

From Victim to Creator

At first, life feels like it’s happening to us. We feel powerless, like victims of circumstance. But as we grow, we begin to understand that life happens by us. We create our experiences through our choices, thoughts, and actions.

As we evolve further, we realize life happens through us and ultimately as us. These shifts in perspective transform how we approach challenges. Instead of asking, "Why is this happening to me?" we ask, "What is this here to teach me?"

The Upper Limit Problem

In The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, the concept of the upper limit problem is introduced. This is the idea that we subconsciously limit how much good we allow into our lives. These limits are set in childhood and reinforced by patterns of fear and self-doubt.

To break free, we must:

1. Recognize the Patterns: Identify when and how you sabotage yourself.

2. Challenge the Thermostat: Push beyond your comfort zone and expand what you believe is possible.

3. Heal the Wounds: Address the traumas and beliefs that keep you stuck.

Returning to Your True Essence

At the core of each of us is a pure essence—the perfect being we were as children before life’s conditioning took hold. This essence is still within us, buried beneath layers of trauma, fear, and societal expectations. Reclaiming it requires intentional work:

• Reparent Yourself: Learn to nurture and support yourself in ways you may not have received growing up.

• Heal the Trauma: Face the wounds that keep you stuck and release the pain they hold.

• Play and Create: Rediscover the joy and curiosity you had as a child.

Lessons from the School of Hard Knocks

For many, the journey to growth begins in the "school of hard knocks." Early on, it’s about grit, determination, and learning through trial and error. But as we evolve, it becomes about wisdom, self-awareness, and alignment.

In my twenties, I succeeded through sheer perseverance and a positive attitude. But as life continued to punch me, I realized grit alone wasn’t enough. I needed to grow emotionally, spiritually, and mentally to truly thrive.

Practical Steps to Reclaim Sovereignty

1. Cultivate Presence: Check in with yourself daily. Are you reacting or responding? Are you present in this moment?

2. Own Your Story: Shift from victim to creator. Take responsibility for your life and the patterns you perpetuate.

3. Expand Your Capacity for Joy: Notice when you’re limiting yourself. Practice gratitude and celebrate small wins to rewire your thermostat.

4. Do the Inner Work: Attend workshops, read transformative books, and seek therapy or coaching to uncover and heal the patterns keeping you stuck.

5. Live Authentically: Stop worrying about what others think. Make choices aligned with your true self and values.

Embracing the Process

The punches in life may never stop completely, but they can become less frequent and less intense as we grow. Each challenge is an invitation to learn, heal, and evolve. As we integrate the lessons, we shift from surviving to thriving.

Remember, life isn’t about avoiding punches—it’s about learning how to take them, grow stronger, and stay aligned with your true essence. At your core, you are whole, resilient, and capable of creating a life filled with joy, love, and purpose.

So, the next time life punches you, pause.

Breathe.

Reflect.

And ask yourself, "What is this teaching me about who I’m meant to become?"